An older lady gets pulled over for speeding…
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see. (more…)
Archive for April, 2009
Belly Buttons Explained
April 25th, 2009
Belly Buttons Explained
Q: How do babies get their belly buttons?
A: When God finishes making little babies, He lines them all up in a row. Then he walks along in front of them. He pokes each one in the tummy with his finger and says, “You’re done…you’re done…you’re done…”
–Unknown
A New World
April 25th, 2009
Today you have the chance to create a new world. For life is constantly changing, and in those changes there is always great opportunity.
The Pickle Jar
April 25th, 2009
The pickle jar as far back as I can remember sat on the floor beside the dresser in my parents’ bedroom. When he got ready f or bed, Dad would empty his pockets and toss his coins into the jar.As a small boy I was always fascinated at the sounds the coins made as they were dropped into the jar . (more…)
Set For Life
April 25th, 2009
I saw an advertisement for a new game show on television the other day. It was called “Set for Life” and people in it will compete for a monthly check that will supposedly “set” them for life. (more…)
Wanna Borrow A Jack?
April 25th, 2009
One day I went to a lawyer friend for advice.
“I’m in real trouble” I said. “My neighbors across the road are going on vacation for a month; and instead of boarding their dogs they are going to keep them locked up and a woman is coming to feed them, if she doesn’t forget. Meanwhile they’ll be lonely and bark all day and howl all night, and I won’t be able to sleep. I’ll either have to call the SPCA to haul them away or I’ll go berserk and go over there and shoot them and then when my neighbors return, they’ll go berserk
and come over and shoot me. (more…)
Being A Champ
April 25th, 2009
Part of being a champ is acting like a champ. You have to learn how to win and not run away when you lose. Everyone has bad stretches and real successes. Either way, you have to be careful not to lose your confidence or get too confident.
~~Nancy Kerrigan
April 25th, 2009
Inner sunshine warms not only the heart of the owner, but all who come in contact with it.
~~unknown
